Reviewed by

Christopher Armstead

I don’t know, maybe I should’ve watched ‘Dracula I’ or ‘Dracula II’ before I watched ‘Dracula III: Legacy’. I didn’t plan to watch this either but as I pointed out earlier I finally broke down and got some TV programming pumped into my house with one of these fancy channels being HDNet Movies or something along those lines. ‘Dracula III’ was on so I watched it and since I watched I felt obligated to write something about what I saw. I don’t why, but I do. So I will.

When our film opens, Luke, played by Jason London… Hold up a minute, we have just been alerted that Jason London has now moved into the number two slot, right behind Steven Seagal, as the actor with the most appearances in movies on this website. Congratulations Jason London! We should also mention that there is a direct correlation to a faltering career and showing up too often on Film Critics United. Just throwing that out there. Anyway Luke is running from hungry vampires, vampires for all I know he was running from when Dracula II ended but I’m not sure. Anyways it just that old okey-doke because Luke was just setting there asses up to meet Father Uffuzi (Jason Scott Lee) who turns those suckas straight into dust. But as it turns out that was just something to do because Luke and Uffuzi’s real plan is to make it to Romania and track down the main man Dracula himself, and once there Luke plans to get his girlfriend back who I guess went missing in the last movie. Even though she’s probably a vampire now. And as far as I know there’s no cure for this.

First though Uffuzi has to get permission from Father Superior (Roy Scheider) to do this but Father Superior tells him no. You would have to search long a hard to track down a more worthless cameo in the history of movies than this one turned in by the late great Mr. Schneider, unless someone, like myself, was a big fan of Roy Scheider and figured there had to be a way to squeeze him into this movie. Yeah, we saw he was in the last movie. Rest in Peace Roy!

Anyway Uffuzi isn’t hearing any of that as he and his funny sidekick go to Romania to kicks some vampire ass and kick ass they do. In the middle of this ass kicking a very sexy British reporter named Elizabeth (Diane Neal) crash lands in the middle of this carnage and she seems to have an eye for the now ex-father Uffuzi. Maybe it’s the fact that the ex-priest has abs of steel or perhaps it’s his long flowing black locks or the simple fact that his eyes glow red on occasion, but our sexy reporter has got it bad. Which means that Dracula is gonna snatch her up, is all that means.

A lot of stuff happens, like Uffuzi having to fight a vampire wearing stilts, but eventually it comes down the big guy holed up in that spooky castle and not one but TWO women in distress. One hottie for Luke and one hottie for Uffuzi. Let the battle for eternal love begin.

I don’t why but I actually kind of liked this movie. I mean it was only on TV so I could’ve easily turned it off and did something else but I didn’t. I mean it was uncut and commercial free and all but it was still just TV.  And to be honest with you, there really is no rhyme or reason why I found this movie to be somewhat entertaining, as it was consistently cheesy throughout with its blood splattering on walls to indicate somebody was being killed, or the fact that they used slo-mo to show how fast someone was moving.  In addition, it certainly wasn’t scary in any way shape or form, but London and Lee brought a lot energy to their roles of Luke and Uffuzi, plus they seemed to be having a good time in the process. Instead of looking at this as a vampire picture, despite the fact that the word ‘Dracula’ is in the title and the bad guys suck blood and have fangs, think of it as a fun buddy cop movie. After Jason Lee’s character quits the priesthood he automatically becomes the ‘Cop who doesn’t Play by the Rules’ and Jason London is the spunky, wisecracking sidekick.

As a vampire movie, well… maybe ‘Dracula III’ isn’t all that good. The story itself is all over the place, the vampires aren’t all that frightening and they really don’t offer up much of a challenge for Brother Uffuzi.  I mean who fights somebody by putting on a pair of stilts? Uffuzi does get put down in this movie but it’s not even the vampires who put him down. And when it comes down to the big Mano a Mano between Uffuzi and Dracula himself, it was a bit anti-climactic, but then if you watch the movie Dracula didn’t seem all that interested in winning the battle anyway.

While ‘Dracula III: Legacy’ is landmark by no means, by any measure, it was still suitably entertaining its own little way. Unless you’re looking for a hardcore vampire flick then you gotta look elsewhere, but if you’re looking to waste some time, see a little kung fu, some sporadic nudity and watch a lot of blood splatter against walls, then this will fit that bill.