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From
the network that brought us classics such as ‘Mansquito’
and ‘Raptor Island’ comes the latest from the SciFi
network, ‘Minotaur’. Now
nobody, and I mean nobody can dump dreck across the small screen like
the SciFi channel, but ‘Minotaur’ God bless ‘em
ain’t so bad.
Seems
like, for some reason, this ancient civilization was trying to create a
master prince or something, and mated the queen with a bull. Make of that what you will, I’m not touching it. From
that union came the Minotaur, a crazed beastly thing that had to be
thrust down into the caves beneath the palace and now feeds on
sacrifices. A local village run by Cyrnan
(Rutger ‘I will do ANYTHING if the check clears’ Hauer) is
forced to give up 8 of its youth every three years for the sacrifice. His
son Theo (Tom Hardy) is sent away each sacrifice harvest because he
needs to be available to run the shanty village when Cyrnan kicks the
bucket. But when a leper tells Theo that
his love, who was snared in the last harvest, is still alive, Theo
arranges for himself to be taken with the mission of slaying the beast
and freeing his true love.
The
land of the Minotaur is run by Deucalion, played by Tony Todd of Candy
Man fame, who must have had extra pork during the shoot because he
hammed it up to the extreme. When Deucalion is taking happy sniffs of the magic horns head or sacrificing virgins to his
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he’s dripping drool over the ultra luscious queen Raphaella (Michelle Van Der Water). So, down in the minotaur pit go our 8 sacrificees and one by one they get picked off and devoured. Including
one rather horrific scene of a young lady getting speared by minotaur
horn in the back of neck, then jutting out her yap. Pretty violent stuff for TV, but I’m glad to see it.
All
in all this flick is fairly standard hide and seek and be slaughtered
stuff, which is a HUGE step up for SciFi original movies. The movie is paced reasonably well, and CG minotaur was done quite well. They
probably went a little to heavy on the lore mumbo jumbo, but
considering Michelle Van Der Water was either soaking wet, or half
naked, or both throughout the entire movie, earns it a mumbo jumbo pass. A decent SciFi diversion until eventual return of ‘Mansquito 2’.
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